Child #1? No, she's a fucking whiner today. She is currently whining at me because I won't get up and make her and her reject friends some cheese sticks.
Child #2? No, she's currently up my ass to support her in a money making endeavor. ie. garage sale, lemonade stand, a nose ring which I believe is the first step towards prostitution .. well I guess that'll make her some money. Can I be her pimp and her daddy?
Child #3? No, she is making me watch this stupid ass George Lopez "Mr. Troop Mom" movie for the 10th time since it's premier last night.
Child #4? No, she is playing the 'repeat' game. You know, the one where she repeats every single thing I say. This game is only fun if you are the one trying to be annoying.
Child #5? No. He has decided that the $400.00 race car little tikes bed that I bought him 2 years ago is no longer "cool". He would like me to dismantle it and he'd like to sleep with his mattress and box spring right on the floor. I swear to you all .. If I knew I was going to get kids who would be happy in a trailer park, I wouldn't have gone to college for so long.
Children #'s 6 & 7. Yes! My angel twins. Like every other night. Sound asleep at 7pm. Not a peep will be heard until 7am.
As I write this child #2 has decided that she not only wants me to help her make money- she now wants an everything bagel, lightly toasted with cream cheese. She is now my LEAST favorite.
Happy Father's Day!